Relationship Tip: Why people cheat on their partner?

Are you with a partner who you think is cheating on you? Or have you come across someone who has just gone through a bad breakup due to extra marital affair? Well it surely might be heart breaking to know that the love of your life is cheating on you. Have you ever wondered why do people cheat in a relationship? Studies have shown that there are several reasons why people cheat on their partners. Some of which are- Anger or revenge, disconnection, lack of emotional and physical satisfaction, additional sexual encounters, falling in love with someone at work or someone they meet at a social gathering, desire to try new experiences, etc.

  • Anger or take revenge- One of the common reasons why people cheat in a relationship is anger or to take revenge. Often  times when people realize they have been cheated by their significant other, out of revenge they want their partner to experience the same emotions so that they will understand how it feels to be cheated. However, other than revenge they are various factors that drive a person to become angry in a relationship. Some people when they do not get much of emotional attention or physical, they turn violent. People also get angry when their partner is not giving them much attention or argues for even the smallest things. Whatever might be the reason, anger indeed is a powerful weapon to break a relationship.
  • There is no love between the two of you- Another strong factor behind people cheating on their partners is they feel that they do not love each other anymore as much as they used to do before. A sense of disconnection may happen for various reasons. One of which is lack of proper communication between the partners. It can happen when life gets too busy because of work or children.
  • Lack of emotional and/or physical satisfaction- Lack of physical and/or emotional satisfaction is also a driving force behind why people cheat in a relationship. Couples often drift apart due to unmet physical needs. However in some cases, people continue to stay in the relationship hoping that things may change for the better. Unmet physical intimacy happens when one or both partners are not interested in indulging in sexual intercourse. It might also happen when partners stay away from each other for longer periods of time. Apart from physical intimacy, emotional satisfaction is also a strong factor. People oftentimes fall out of love when they realise that their partner is not fully supporting them emotionally.
  • Additional sexual encounters- A simple desire to indulge in sexual intercourse outside home can drive people to cheat on their spouse. Mainly unmet sexual desire from their significant other is what drives people to maintain a sexual relationship with someone at work or someone they meet at a social gathering. However, for people who enjoy indulging in sexual intercourse may look for opportunities outside home to do so. While for some they want to try out various sexual intercourses or just some other non-sexual activities.
  • Falling in love with someone new- Whether it might be with someone at work or outside, people may fall head over heels for someone new other then their partner. It might happen because of lack of emotional and/or physical satisfaction.
  • Desire to try new experiences- People do cheat on their spouse to try out new experiences whether it might be physical or emotional. They want to try out some new experiences with different people. Sometimes it might be to measure their sexual prowess.

If you have been cheated by your partner, what can you do-

  1. Communicate with your partner- After you find out that you have been cheated, you must talk to your partner. You need to figure out what went wrong and the both of you must work towards fixing the problem. Some people will cheat because they do not want to stay in a relationship, if that is the case then you need to ask your partner if he/she is willing to continue the relationship or not.
  2. Talk to a therapist- Incase your partner wants to continue the relationship yet he/she is having certain issues, then it is best for the both of you to seek help from a  trained therapist. Not just couple therapy but even individual counseling will help.
  3. Be sure to trust your partner again- After you find out that your partner has been cheating on you, it will be difficult to trust him/her. It will take a lot of time to rebuild this trust but you need to decide for yourself if you would like to give your partner another chance or not. But if you know you can never trust your partner then you might as well end the relationship.

If you are the one who’s been cheating-

  1. Think about if you still want to continue your relationship- If the reason for you to cheat is because you really wanted to end things  than its best to be honest with your partner.
  2. You may seek help from a therapist- If you want to fix things with your partner and gain his/her trust, you may want to work with a therapist to make sure that you will not cheat again, rather stay loyal to your parter.
  3. You must be okay with the fact that things may be perfect like before- No matter how much you may try to fix things with your spouse, you need to come to terms with the fact that things are not going to be perfect anymore. If you really want to fix things with your partner, then you must put in your 100% and give some time.

Often times, it is gather difficult to work on a relationship where there is no trust anymore. But looking on the brighter side, some people who cheat with your spouse may realize and will never repeat the mistake. Working on infidelity will surely strengthen your relationship with your spouse, but for that you both have to honest with each other and be committed to one another.

-Akhila kakarala     Pic Courtsey: