Ellen Degeneres On The Elections

In a pre-taped monologue recorded on November 8, talk show host Ellen Degeneres delivered an uplifting message following the contentious presidential election.

“Well, well, well. The election is finally over. I don’t want to know the results, don’t tell me. Don’t spoil it. It’s on my DVR. I’m watching other stuff, so…” she began. “The truth is we’re taping this show on Tuesday afternoon, so people at home you know something that I don’t and that we all don’t.”

“People have been very passionate about this race and I think it’s because we all love our country, we just have different ideas about what’s best for it,” DeGenres continued. “Which is part of what makes America great. And I believe we can all come together because if you take away the labels, you realize we’re far more alike than we are different.”

“For instance, no matter what your politics are, we all have that feeling of stepping out of the shower and realizing you left the towel completely across the bathroom. And you have to do that shimmy on the bathmat all the way across where you try to get the minimal amount of water trying to tip toe like, ‘just that one drop of water will be there if I do it that way,’ ” she said.

“We all do that thing where  you’re pulling into a parking garage and you duck your head just to make sure you make it,” DeGenres added. “It doesn’t matter if you’re a liberal or if you’re conservative, we’ve all passed out watching Netflix and woke up not knowing what episode we’re on, what season we’re on, whose couch we’re on.”

“What I’m trying to say is that we have so much in common, our differences actually make us stronger. We need to have the kindness and respect for one another,” she said. “Here’s where I make the exception: the people that leave the shopping carts in the middle of your parking spot. Out of the country. Kick them out of the country. Bring the shopping cart back!:

DeGeneres wrapped up with an adorable video of different species in the animal kindgom all getting along, set to the tune of “You’re My Best Friend” by Queen.